PANIC MODE: Right now I'm like borderline in panic mode. I told my mom about the bipolar tonight which kinda set me off and then I found out that my grandma was admitted to the hospital which just furthered the panic. Basically panic mode means fight or flight. I tend to fight, but right now I just want to hide. What happens is that I get all worked up. My body gets really anxious, tense, feel like I'm gonna pass out, and feel like I have all this energy and can't do anything with it. T and I have worked on some coping mechanisms for it. She had me create a list of coping skills to use whenever I found myself starting to enter into panic mode. We want to head it off because I usually become irrational and manipulative, which pushes people away further. Some coping skill we talked about were: working out, talking to a friend, taking a shower or nap, reading, working on something (such as this) to distract myself, journaling, watch tv, or having a cup of tea or something. My one friend has really helped me right now by simply talking to me and distracting me. Its really calmed me down in a short amount of time. I'm still very energized and should go workout, but I've already worked out and gone for a bike ride. I'm exhausted, but have energy if that makes any sense. Hopefully I'll calm down soon.