Everyone keeps telling me that a major symptom of BP is pushing people away. It seems like a lot of people with bipolar disorder tend to push their friends and family away. I have also experienced this full blown in the past two years. Its not in my nature to push people away, at least not when I'm "me." However, the past two years, I haven't really been me for more than a few blips here and there. I've been depressed, irritable, angry, you name it.... but I haven't been my normal self. I pushed a lot of people away. It started with my parents, then a guy, then my best friend, and more recently some friends from home.

I know I tend to reach out to people, especially when I'm feeling desperate, but then I don't take their advice and fight back at them, thus pushing them away. I tended to lash out at people and make things all about me, which pushes people away. My true friends have come back. Its taken a bit for some of them to come back, but eventually they did. Right now I pushed a really good friend away by making everything about me and fighting her whenever she tried to help me. Idk what to do at this point cuz she won't really talk to me about fixing it. She won't give me a chance to show her I'm just me again. The person she was really good friends with. People have stuck with me through my darkest times, which I am so lucky to have had, but it seems like when things finally let up a bit, its too late. Damage is done and they are ready to walk away. It really sucks and I wish I never did any of it. I wish I could take it all back. I've been learning to control this better through therapy. I'm learning coping techniques to try and catch myself before I say anything too damaging. Now I just have to wait and see if those friends I've pushed away in my most recent episodes decide to come back.